Is it possible for your child to perform "the task" or meet an expectation one day, only to struggle with it the next, even if it's critical?
Chances are, you've encountered this scenario with your child or teenager. "On and off days" are a nearly universal symptom for kids with brain-based differences.
This perplexing and often misunderstood behavioral pattern came to mind during a recent meeting with a caregiver. Her middle school-aged son could complete "the task" or fulfill a request one day, perhaps even for several days in a row, but the next day, everything seemed to unravel.
Despite her attempts to encourage, bribe, plead, or demand compliance, her son's actions remained inconsistent. She interpreted his inaction through a behavioral lens, attributing it to defiance, laziness, and a lack of concern for others.
Her frustration was evident: "He did it last week with just a simple reminder! How can he suddenly struggle this week?!"
Parenting a child with neurobehavioral challenges demands time, intentionality, and patience to accept that these maddening behaviors are symptoms, indicative of the child's developmental lag, rather than deliberate defiance.
There are myriad reasons why your children experience fluctuations in their abilities, but delving into those is a topic for another discussion, on March 21st from 6-7:30p where we have Dr. Holly Summers from Grant a Gift Autism Foundation Ackerman Center who will be discussing more specifically Prenatal Drug and Alcohol Exposure. It is a very popular training so our in-person is full but please join us online via Zoom Sign up Here!
Before we go, I do want to impart this truth: resisting the reality of on and off days only leads to burnout, increasing frustration, and despair. Instead, I encourage you to gradually accept that these fluctuations are common symptoms of their differences. During their off days, provide your child with additional support and accommodations. It's not about giving in; it's about fully attending to your child's needs and providing the necessary support for their success. If you need a behavioral consultation with a TBRI® Practitioner here at Foster Kinship please call our office at 702-546-9988