You may have found yourself wondering:
“How can I possibly heal and regulate my own nervous system when I’m constantly being retraumatized by my child’s aggressive or violent behavior?”
If that question has ever crossed your mind, please know that you are not alone—and it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. When a child’s behaviors are unpredictable or physically aggressive, your body naturally goes into protection mode. Your nervous system stays alert, braced for what might happen next. Over time, this level of stress can take a deep toll, leaving you feeling exhausted, defeated, or even hopeless.
You might hear people talk about self-care, mindfulness, or regulation, and while those are helpful, they can feel out of reach when your home doesn’t feel calm or safe. You can’t truly relax in an environment that keeps activating your survival system. That’s not a failure on your part—it’s simply how the brain and body work.
So what does healing look like in the middle of the storm? It’s not about finding perfect calm. It’s about creating micro-moments of safety and regulation in the midst of the chaos. That might mean:
Healing as a caregiver doesn’t happen all at once. It happens in small, steady moments where your body gets the message: I am safe enough right now.
You don’t have to have it all figured out. You don’t have to be calm all the time. You are human—and you’re doing incredibly hard work. Over time, with support, compassion, and realistic expectations, your nervous system can begin to find small places of rest again.
Remember: your healing matters just as much as your child’s. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish—it’s essential for both of you.
If you need help finding support or resources to help your family heal, please reach out to Foster Kinship by booking a behavioral consultation at 702-546-9988. Our team is here to walk alongside you with trauma-informed strategies, connection-based approaches, and a community that understands.