Have you had one of those days where you felt like you had a parenting fail? 

Daily, I speak with caregivers who use all the parenting tools in their toolbox and still feel like behaviors aren’t changing and have no idea where to start. Many will tell me, “I feel like a failure because of my child’s behaviors!” I am here to tell you that you are NOT failing. The fact that you are reading this blog, proves that.💛

 I want to help you redefine successful caregiving. One book I highly recommend you pick up is The Power of Showing Up. They define successful parenting as our ability to respond to our kids in a way that they feel safe, seen, soothed, and secure. We cannot control anyone else except ourselves, right? So, redefining success as a caregiver involves shifting focus from traditional metrics of success, such as academic achievement or outward accomplishments, to a more holistic approach that prioritizes the child's overall well-being and development. Here are some ways to redefine success in this context:

• Emotional Intelligence: Success means helping your child develop the ability to understand and manage their emotions.
• Resilience: Teaching your child to cope with challenges and setbacks constructively.

• Healthy Lifestyle: Encouraging regular physical activity, balanced nutrition, and adequate rest.
• Safety and Comfort: Providing a safe and nurturing environment where your child feels secure.

• Healthy Relationships: Helping your child build and maintain positive relationships with peers and adults.
• Empathy and Compassion: Fostering a sense of empathy and compassion towards others.

• Curiosity and Learning: Cultivating a love for learning and curiosity about the world.
• Self-Esteem and Confidence: Encouraging your child to develop a positive self-image and confidence in their abilities.

• Self-Sufficiency: Teaching your child skills that promote independence and self-reliance.
• Accountability: Instilling a sense of responsibility for their actions and decisions.

• Expression: Encouraging creative activities that allow your child to express themselves.
• Problem-solving: Promoting creative problem-solving skills.

• Inclusivity: Teaching your child to appreciate and respect cultural diversity.
• Open-mindedness: Encouraging an open and accepting attitude towards different perspectives.

• Practical Skills: Teaching essential life skills such as time management, financial literacy, and household chores.
• Adaptability: Helping your child learn to adapt to changing circumstances and environments.

• Integrity: Emphasizing the importance of honesty and integrity.
• Ethical Behavior: Encouraging ethical decision-making and respect for others.

• Joy: Ensuring your child experiences joy and satisfaction in their daily life.
• Pursuing Passions: Supporting the child in discovering and pursuing their passions and interests.

To implement this redefined approach to success:

1. Set Personalized Goals: Focus on individual strengths and areas for growth.
2. Positive Reinforcement: Celebrate efforts and improvements, not just outcomes.
3. Open Communication: Maintain open and honest communication with your child.
4. Model Behavior: Demonstrate the values and behaviors you wish to instill.
5. Continuous Learning: Stay informed and flexible, adapting your approach as needed.

By embracing a more comprehensive view of success, you can support the overall development and happiness of your child, preparing them for a fulfilling and well-rounded life. Now that you have a new lens shift, pick up The Power of Showing Up by Dr. Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson. I also highly recommend following them on any social media platform, you won’t regret it. 🌈💯🫶