Your ability to remain calm is crucial. Children often look to adults for cues on how to react. Take deep breaths, ground yourself, and approach the situation with a composed demeanor. This will help create a more stable environment. Is this easier said than done? YES, and it is worth getting good at.
Evaluate the intensity of each child's dysregulation and prioritize based on immediate safety concerns. If one child poses a danger to themselves or others, address that situation first.
Speak in a calm, clear, and concise manner. Use simple language with very few words to convey your messages and instructions. Avoid raising your voice, as this can escalate the situation.
If possible, guide each child to a separate, safe space where they can calm down. This might be a quiet corner, a designated room, or a specific area that the child associates with relaxation. Separation can help prevent the children from escalating each other’s distress.
Introduce calming techniques such as deep breathing exercises, sensory activities (like squeezing a stress ball or listening to calming music), or guided imagery once they have calmed down as it might not work in the heat of the behavior. Encourage each child to use the technique that works best for them the next time they are stressed and before a behavior happens.
Once immediate safety concerns are addressed, try to provide individual attention to each child even if only for 10 minutes.. Validate their feelings and let them know you are there to help. Sometimes, just being heard can significantly reduce a child’s anxiety and distress.
Listen to each child without interrupting. Acknowledge their emotions and validate their experiences. Reflect back what you hear to show understanding and empathy. Kids want to know that they have been heard and this is one way to ensure that you are understanding the need behind the behavior.
Children feel more secure when they know what to expect. If you have a schedule that changes frequently, you probably see more behaviors of dysregulation. Try to establish and maintain predictable routines to provide a sense of stability and control. This can help reduce the frequency and intensity of dysregulation episodes. If the schedule changes a lot, provide a visual calendar to help the child know what to expect in the coming days to help them prepare for the change.
Co-regulation involves guiding a child towards self-regulation by modeling calm behavior and providing support. Sit with the child, maintain a calm demeanor, and use soothing language, tone, volume, and cadence to help them regain control.
After the situation has calmed down, take time to debrief with each child. Discuss what happened, identify triggers, and brainstorm together on strategies to handle similar situations in the future. This helps build their emotional regulation skills and prepares them for future challenges.
Managing multiple dysregulated children can be exhausting. Ensure you take time for self-care. Seek support from other caregivers, professionals, or support groups to share experiences and gain insights.
If dysregulation episodes are frequent or severe, consider seeking support from a mental health professional. They can provide additional strategies and interventions tailored to the children’s specific needs.