Grief is Anything But Linear
I wanted to take a moment to chat about something that affects us all at some point in our lives: grief. You know, that complex and often confusing mix of emotions that comes after we've experienced loss. Whether it's the passing of a loved one, the end of a relationship, or any significant change, grief is a journey that's anything but straightforward.
Grief isn't a checklist of emotions that we tick off one by one. I wish it was but it's more like a swirling palette of feelings. One moment you might be feeling intense sadness, the next a surge of anger, and then oddly, a hint of laughter at a fond memory. These emotions can hit you out of nowhere, and that's totally okay. It doesn't mean you're backtracking; it means you're human.
We've all heard about the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These stages can give us a rough roadmap, but they don't occur in a neat, sequential order. You might bounce between stages, skip some entirely, or find yourself revisiting a stage you thought you'd moved past. Grief is more like a messy scribble than a neat line.
There's also no timer on grief. It's not like you get a set amount of time to grieve, and then you're expected to move on. Some days, you might feel like you're making progress, and on others, you're right back where you started. And guess what? That's okay. Your grief journey is yours alone, and it doesn't adhere to anyone else's schedule.
One common feeling people experience is guilt when they find themselves feeling better or having moments of joy. It's almost as if we think that by moving forward, we're somehow betraying the person or thing we've lost. But remember, it's not about forgetting or replacing. It's about honoring the past while allowing yourself to create a future.
Grief can be isolating, especially when you feel like you're on a rollercoaster that no one else understands. AND, You're not alone. Not only are your friends, family, and therapists there for you but so is Foster Kinship– we are all here to help you navigate this unpredictable journey.
Grief is a lot like riding waves. Some days, you're riding high and catching glimpses of sunlight through the clouds. Other days, you're in the troughs, feeling like you're struggling to stay afloat. Just remember, both the ups and downs are part of the process. The downs don't erase the ups, and the ups don't diminish the downs.
So, if you're on this rollercoaster called grief, know that it's okay to feel like you're spiraling, zigzagging, and even looping back at times. There's no right way to grieve, no perfect path to follow. Your journey is uniquely yours, and every twist and turn is valid. Embrace the messiness, lean on your support system, and remember that even in the midst of the chaos, healing is happening.