As summer winds down and the school year begins, many families feel the mix of excitement and stress that comes with the back-to-school season. But for kinship caregivers—grandparents, aunts, uncles, older siblings, and close family friends stepping in to raise children—the transition can be especially challenging.

Kinship caregivers often juggle a variety of responsibilities while trying to meet their children's emotional, behavioral, and academic needs. Many of these children have experienced loss, instability, or trauma, which can make school a stressful place. With that in mind, here are some practical, trauma-informed tips to help your kinship family start the school year strong.

1. Establish Predictable Routines

Children thrive on structure, especially when they’ve experienced disruption. A consistent morning and evening routine can help reduce anxiety.

Try this:

• Create a visual schedule with pictures or simple words for younger children.
  
• Practice the routine the week before school starts.
  
• Include calming moments, like reading a book or cuddling before bedtime.
  

2. Plan for Emotional Ups and Downs

Back-to-school can trigger big feelings grief, anxiety, and fear of separation. Children may not always know how to express these emotions in words.

Try this:

• Build in time each day to check in emotionally, ask, “What was the best part of your day? What was the hardest?”
  
• Use tools like feeling charts or worry jars to help kids communicate their emotions.
  
• Normalize their worries: “Lots of kids feel nervous about going back to school. You're not alone.”

3. Connect with Teachers Early

Make sure your child's teacher knows they are in a kinship care situation. You don’t need to share the whole story, just enough so the teacher understands your child's background and possible emotional or behavioral needs.

Try this:

• Send a quick email or request a meeting to share any relevant information.
  
• Ask about how they support social-emotional learning and how they communicate concerns.

4. Support Transitions with Comfort Objects

A small object from home can offer a sense of safety throughout the day a family photo, a note in their lunchbox, or a “bravery stone” in their pocket.

Try this:

• Create a “connection item” that the child can bring to school to remind them of home.
  
• For teens, text check-ins or a journal they can write in after school may help them decompress.
  

5. Use Positive, Strength-Based Language

Many kinship children feel “different.” Affirming their identity and celebrating their resilience can go a long way.

Try this:

• Say things like, “Our family might look different, but it’s full of love,” or “You are so brave for starting a new school year.”
  
• Celebrate small wins, getting to school on time, making a new friend, or speaking up in class.
  

6. Know That Behavior Is Communication

If your child is acting out, withdrawing, or regressing, it might not be about the math homework. Transitions are hard for kids with trauma histories.

Try this:

• Stay curious. Instead of, “What’s wrong with you?” try, “What’s going on for you right now and how can I help?”
  
• Use regulation strategies like movement, breaks, or calming activities after school.
• Might be worth giving your child some choices around when to complete homework or chores. Try: “Would you like to do your homework now or right after snack in an hour?”
  

7. Take Care of Yourself, Too

You can’t pour from an empty cup. Your calm presence is one of the best supports for your child.

Try this:

• Build in a few minutes a day for yourself, even if it’s just to breathe deeply or enjoy a cup of coffee in silence.
  
• Reach out to support groups, friends, or Foster Kinship when you feel overwhelmed.
  

You’re Not Alone

Starting a new school year is a fresh chapter, and you don’t have to do it by yourself. Whether this is your first year as a kinship caregiver or your fifth, know that every effort you make matters deeply. Your stability, love, and presence are shaping the story of a child who may not have started with much, but who is now surrounded by someone who shows up.

From one day to the next, from one grade to the next, you are making a difference.